Pleading for Rest (Original Poem)

Hey folks!

I wrote a new poem! With how this blog is going so far, it may just turn into an outlet for a lot of my poems, because I've found I really like writing them! Who knows what the future holds! For now, however, here's the newest one! It's called "Pleading for Rest." Just for those who don't know, I have severe scoliosis, which puts me in a ton a pain all the time, literally. I am never not in an intense amount of pain. If anyone would like to hear my journey with dealing with my scoliosis, just let me know and I'll put something on here. Anyway, let's get to the poem. Enjoy! Or maybe not, it's kind of sad haha.

Love, Noelle.

Pleading for Rest

Exhaustion in

Exhaustion out

Soreness here

Never a doubt

To check in with my body

Is to toy with my emotions

To see how it’s worsened

Just going through the motions

It’s never been good,

Sometimes better,

Never best

I try to rest, rest, rest

But I’ll never better best

With no surgery, there is no hope

But who wants surgery?

I sure don’t.

Bags?

Check.

Spasms?

Check.

Comfort?

...

Relief never comes.

I slather on icy hot

As if butter to my toasted bread body.

Not burnt, not dead

Just cooked enough to make me fragile

Don’t drop me, I’ll crack

I’ll leave deformed, never fixed back

Am I already deformed?

You see my hump? Just call me a camel.

They go forever without refreshment, you know.

That’s how I feel.

I long for relief

I expect none.

I flip and turn and twist and fix

At night to get a twig of rest

Not a log, not even a stump

I ask for only a twig

My body returns sawdust

That’s my portion.

I beg for sleep

But when I do, my muscles suffer

They suffer always, however

I no longer know what to say

Please, pain,

Please, God take it away.